59 Active Listening

1st Person I actively listened to: Alyssa (friend)
– She talked to me about her new job she just attained at the restaurant Summit, here in Iowa City. She was telling me in full detail about how her first training shift went as a cocktail server on Tuesday night and what she did. She told me all the logistics and difficult things she had to do and remember, as well as how much she got tipped out for her first training shift.
– I don’t really think she noticed much of a difference of me actively listening to her because I was the first person she shared her new experience with so she was just super excited to tell me and not really focused on having a conversation about it. She could tell that I was fully attentive and truly listening to what she had to say.
– Honestly, I felt like such a good friend to just fully pay attention and listen to what my friend had to say, especially because she was so excited to share with me her new experience. I feel like I was able to fully empathize with her. I also feel like as a result of my active listening that I was able to remember pretty much everything she said and could recite it back to anyone.
– I believe I am already more of a listener than a speaker/talker anyway so this wasn’t too difficult for me, the only difficult part about this was not being able to really add my own commentary here and there or add things into the conversation that I related to.

2nd Person I actively listened to: Hallie (roommate)
– She talked to me about a class she had dropped (Spanish), and how she picked a new one that focused on debate. She was telling me how difficult it is for her to continuously play catch up in that class because she missed the first 1-2 weeks of that class, so she feels as if she is constantly doing so much work for it. Hallie also told me how she was confused about why she was also being taught some form of calculus in the class when its primary focus is debate.
– I think Hallie was slightly confused as to why I was just listening because we’re pretty good at conversing back and forth so I think she was waiting for me to chime in at times, but she could also tell how focused I was on what she was saying. Since we are roommates, we’re not always 100% acknowledging in on what each other is saying all the time so I think she felt good about my active listening even though she didn’t truly know I was doing it.
– Nothing dramatically different happened, I could just tell she was able to vocalize and explore more of her own thoughts and feelings while explaining her situation, while I was actively listening.
– I believe I am already more of a listener than a speaker/talker anyway, so this wasn’t too difficult for me, the only difficult part about this was not being able to really add my own commentary here and there or add things into the conversation that I related to. It was also difficult for me to not give helpful advice while she was sharing things.

3rd Person I actively listened to: Kara (mom)
– I was on the phone with my mom the other day and she was basically giving me the rundown of what she had been doing the past couple days. She told me about how her and my dad went out to brunch with their friends while the Vikings game was going on, so everything in Downtown Minneapolis was chaotic.
– I think it was harder for her to tell that I was actively listening over the phone because she can’t see that I am, and sometimes when she talks and I’m not super interested or distracted I don’t always respond so she could’ve thought I was doing that. I think she realized how much I was paying attention though once she was done sharing and I started asking her some questions about her experiences.
– Nothing super different happened as a result, but now I just remember pretty much everything she did with some specific details.
– I think for some people, me included, it can be difficult to actively listen to your mom because you are constantly around her and she’s always telling you things, even when you’re distracted or not fully engaged in the conversation. It was a little easier to do so because I don’t talk to her as much since I am away at college so actively listening to her on phone calls is easier.