69 Creative Project

My love for singing came from my dad. He has told me that as a baby I would only calm down when he sang “Heart Like a Wheel” by Billy Bragg to me. As I got older, I remember him singing to me; the gentle lilting lyrics of “Oh My Darling Clementine” as we raked the leaves in the yard. I remember the first time that I realized I loved to sing, too. I was in third grade, and we were practicing for our music concert. I was feeling particularly confident that day and singing loudly, and the teacher encouraged everyone else to have as much fun as I was having.

Since then, my love for music has only grown. When I make music, it is usually me singing. However, I did 8 years of band where I learned to play percussion. I can struggle my way through music on the piano, flute, and violin, and I am solid on the recorder, but my mom thinks that it is far too annoying to be played in the house. I was also chosen to be in the middle school choir, so I did 8 years of choir as well.

By the time I was in high school, I decided to follow in my dad’s footsteps and join the musical. My freshman year, I almost walked away from singing. I was cast as Sophie in the musical “Mamma Mia!” The pressure I felt around being the only freshman in a lead role was tremendous, and many of the older girls were not very supportive of me. Balancing varsity swim, the musical and the transition to high school the pressure began to get to me. Singing was on longer something that I enjoyed. Instead, I found myself scared to sing out and sick to my stomach with stress. Ultimately, my understudy and one of my best friends gave me a much-needed pep talk when I told her that I wanted to give my role up to her. Once I made it to the first performance, seeing that the audience was there to see me shine, even if some of my castmates were not, restored my confidence. I let go of my fear and let myself have fun.

That is where my love for singing and performing began to grow into a real passion. I love to perform in any capacity, though, ironically, singing is the type of performance that makes me most nervous.  I had the opportunity to do three musicals at my high school, one more than those who graduated before me. I got to play Calliope in “Xanadu” and sing villainous duets, which grew my appreciation for harmony. My senior year, I played Gabriella in “High School Musical.” By this time, I was so used to performing that my nerves barely affected me. The boy who played Troy Bolton had never done a musical before, and I was able to mentor him through the entire process. It was so rewarding to see someone else realize their love for performing, and it drew the two of us closer. He is one of the only people from my hometown that I keep in touch with.

My junior year especially, I fell in love with classical music. For the first time, I had enough music theory knowledge to appreciate music past how it made me feel. We had a new choir director, who had previously sung opera professionally in Italy, before deciding to come home and teach. She was young, energetic, and her spirit was infectious. I had my first professional voice lessons with her. She taught me more in a single year about singing than I had learned in my entire life leading up to that year. She had an innate ability to make you feel confident in yourself, and it worked wonders on my singing. It worked wonders on our entire choir. I would get chills in class everyday hearing parts come together in music we were learning. This is when I realized that I loved singing with others even more than singing alone.

Now, I make music wherever and whenever I can. I used to sing constantly, much to the annoyance of my brothers. In the shower, in my car, in the kitchen; I would sing anywhere. Since moving to college and living in a dorm, my chances to sing are much more limited. I take advantage of my drives home and sing my heart out.

Singing is more than a hobby for me now. It is a tool. A way that I can cope when I am overwhelmed or emotional. A way that I can connect with people and learn something about them. A way that I can make others feel something. If I learned one thing in high school, it is that I can use my voice to make a difference. I have always spoken loudly and sang even louder. Voices are catalysts for change and words and lyrics your vessels. The great thing about music is that it makes people stop and listen.

On the days where I am so caught up in what I am feeling that I feel trapped, I will turn on the shower, connect to my speaker and take a moment to myself. I will sing whatever songs I think of, as loudly as I want to, some of the sound drowned out by the shower. I sing until my throat is raw and my voice is tired. Sometimes I sing even longer than that. But when I am done, I feel lighter. As if by singing, I have released some of the emotional weight that I was carrying. It is like I have had a chance to set down what has weighing on me. Even if only for fifteen minutes, it gives me a chance to let go. I feel less tense and more energized. I feel like myself again. Every time I sing, I am reminded of why I fell in love with it in the first place.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/199ixEwYzJAAUj3W5FKubi4nypSlFlVx7/view?usp=sharing