23 Lexi Smith

Narrative Summary

Venantie Nduhirahe, who goes by Veve, was born in The Democratic Republic of Congo. Veve had so many siblings that should couldn’t name a number even if she tried. Veve’s father was a polygamist, who had three wives. From just her biological mother, she is the youngest of 12.

For fun when she was just a girl, Veve and her siblings would play with mud and rocks or go splash around in the water, while singing. She also enjoyed more helpful activities, such as gathering firewood, harvesting corn and digging up sweet potatoes.

Veve’s father was the chief of her village but also was a farmer to provide for his wives and children. His wife, Veve’s biological mother, was a housewife and the mother of their clan. Not all of her mothers lived in the same location as her. Two of her father’s other wives, who were also her mothers lived in the same area in different houses. One lived with no other wives, in a different village than Veve.

Veve always went to school, all-girl catholic ones, that were structured and well maintained. Today, Veve is still catholic. Before they built a school for both boys and girls, where she would later attend, the girls, in her village, went to a school where they were taught by nuns and the boys, in her village, went to a school where they were taught by priests. When she was young, she imagined herself growing up to be a doctor, which is why when she went onto high school she focused on biology and chemistry.

As a child, Veve remembers having everything she ever needed, but wouldn’t consider herself privileged compared to others. She said that everyone who lived in her village generally had the same, which was not more or less than what they needed at the time. Veve took comfort in this “togetherness” that her community embodied.

You can see the sense of “togetherness” and community when Veve said as a child, she would be playing in the fields away from home, and never would go home for lunch. Rather, she would go ask another grown woman, usually a mother, in the village for lunch. No one ever had to worry.

Unfortunately, even though Veve never had to fear hunger she did fear death. Her biological mother died of illness when Veve was only 12 years old. While her biological mother was sick, her father was away with one of his other wives. By the time he got back to call the doctor, there was nothing they could do. After this, Veve had to leave her village.

With a heavy heart, Veve took to the cities to search out her brothers and sisters to take care of her. She would go to high school in Kenya, where she would learn her second language, English. Veve’s native language is French. Thanks to this time in an English-speaking country, later in her life, she would be offered a job at the embassy in Tanzania in 1986, where she would work until she became a refugee in 1987 due to the change of the government.

Although, when she lived in the Democratic Republic of Congo, her president was a corrupt dictator, that had 12 million people die under his rule, he was a unifier. After the change of president, there was no chance Veve could go back, so, she knew she must apply to be a refugee. For someone who is so rooted in family, this was an unimaginable tragedy. Veve was extremely lucky in her refugee experience because she was a diplomat, so, she only had to wait to be resettled from the Tanzanian refugee camp for two years after 1987. In her 40’s, Veve would resettle in the United States as a refugee with only the belongings she could fit into two suitcases.

When Veve came to the United States, she came with her two children first, and later other family members would join them. Although, there are two men, that she considers her sons, who are still, as she puts it, rotting in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The new refugee cap for the United States that was set earlier this fall, by President Trump, to only 18,000 people, makes Veve feel hopeless in completely reuniting her family.

Once in resettled in Cedar Rapids, Veve was assigned a social worker. Veve’s social worker set her up with a job, but Veve had other plans. When the social worker brought Veve her work schedule, Veve told her it wouldn’t work because she was going to get her bachelor’s in communication at the University of Iowa. This led to Veve’s social worker threaten her because she was brought to the United States to work, not to go to school. Veve furiously went to the human rights office to get a new social worker. This broke Veve’s spirt to the point of no recovery.

When Veve came to the United States she was put in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Three years after she was settled, her husband was able to come along with other children. With her husband, Veve had three biological children, and six, in which she also considers her children, totaling in nine.

When asked what the biggest cultural difference when coming to the United States, Veve said “Everything.” After living in the United States for 20 years, there is still some cultural shock. The United States is a much different place than it was 20 years ago though, Veve noted that she can see the differences.

If it was 20 years ago, Veve said she and I couldn’t have sat together and conducted the interview we did. When Veve first came to the United States she attended the University of Iowa, where she received a bachelor’s in communications. There, just 20 years ago, people would move if she tried to sit next to them in class.

If Veve was going to advise a refugee coming to the United States today, she would tell them not to change and don’t try to change. That there are good people and bad people within every community, you just need a positive outlook.

Veve happily reports that by this time she does feel accepted and apart of her community. Although, now and then, she still experiences instances where people aren’t accepting of her differences. Now, she is at the point in her life where she can stand up for herself because she understands that she doesn’t need to change.

Personal Reflection

Tall and round-cheeked Veve greeted me at The University of Iowa Hospital in back in October before her afternoon shift started at 2 p.m. There, Veve works in the Geriatric Psychiatry Unit. Before we started our interview, she asked if we move down towards the revolving doors in the entryway of the hospital where there were fewer people. She said, you never know who could be listening and that there are “Trumpists” everywhere.

That was the first thing that caught my attention. Not her accent, that was very much still in tacked, even though she has been in the United States for 20 years, but her fear of Trump followers and/or supporters. It felt like we were about to talk about her coming to the United States illegally, and that she could be deported if anyone found out. But… considering that I was interviewing her on the fact that she was indeed a refugee, well now, that wouldn’t make any sense.

The truth of it was Veve was a diplomat, so she actually had a pretty easy time getting resettled in the United States, just two years after becoming a refugee, compared to others. In Veve’s eyes, President Trump holds the keys to the United States and the reason two of her sons are still rotting the Democratic Republic of Congo. In a way, that isn’t that far from the truth after he slashed the pre-existing refugee cap down to 18,000 people earlier this fall.

Another thing that caught my attention was how large Veve’s family was. When I mentioned earlier that Veve has two sons who are still in the Democratic Republic of Congo, she isn’t referring to her biological sons. Yet, they’re men that she thinks of as family, and they’re at the ages of her sons.

Before Veve and I were on the same page of what the words “family” and “siblings” meant to her. She finally stopped me and asked what do you mean by family. In Africa, more than just people you’re biologically related to are your family. In a sense, I think family to Veve is anyone that she loves. In Africa, you take people under your wing and make sure they have enough.

I feel like I have subconsciously picked up on this “togetherness”, that Veve kept referencing, in my own life. As I walk the streets of Iowa City or drive around Cedar Rapids. Most of the faces of the homeless I see are white males, who are most likely of Western descent. You rarely, if ever, see a black person, who is most likely of African descent, on the side of the road. Now, that might be because we have larger white populations than black, but part of me wonders if it stems from the “togetherness” culture, Veve mentioned, that lived in Africa.

The size of families in Africa isn’t only because they consider most people, they love their families. Veve’s family is also a lot larger than mine because her father is a polygamist. Veve has three mothers including the one who gave birth to her.

Speaking of mothers, I asked Veve what rights women had in the Democratic Republic of Congo while she was growing up there and she was quite confused. I have studied why you have a right to rights in college so much that I’m getting a degree for it. So, even after Veve has been in the United States for 20 years, to hear she is confused about women’s need for rights was astonishing to me.

In the Democratic Republic of Congo, women grow up to be housewives and mothers. In that culture, Veve says that women don’t need the same rights as men because they don’t have the same jobs as men.

In all, these three things were significant to me because unlike Veve, I don’t experience them in my daily like or while I grew up in the United States. This shows how important relativism is when looking at the lives of others, especially when they’re from different places.

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Now My Future Begins: Stories of Resettlement Copyright © by Fall19 Global Crises and Human Rights Class. All Rights Reserved.

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