9 Sex: Consent, Fluidity of Behavior & Technology

*Please be aware that this chapter is sexual in nature. Materials will describe sexual consent, rape and sexual assault, sexual behavior, and pornography— some visuals and supporting materials will be embedded throughout.*

As was discussed in the previous chapter, sex can be… complex. We briefly recognized biological and physiological mechanisms which drive reproduction and arousal, and recognized a few often-forgotten facts about pleasure, emotion, and arousal non-concordance. Here we will consider additional concepts in sex, of which our understanding and/or perceptions may be a bit murky: consent, the fluidity of sexual behavior and the evolving world of sex and technology. This chapter, in essence, is about communication, boundaries, desire, and expectations around sex and some forms of intimacy; the chapter is intended to provide an introduction to topics which are wildly important to how we experience sex in our relationships, as well as a snap shot of the interesting research and education that has developed to further illuminate our struggle, our interest, and our contention with these aspects of sexuality.

Let’s Talk Consent

Please start by watching this short video created by New York University students and alumni.

According to the 2015 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, about 1 in 5 women and 2.6% of men (approximately 2.8 million people) in the United States have been victimized in an attempted or completed rape (Smith et al., 2018). These numbers are two and three times higher for individuals who are bisexual, lesbian, or gay (Breiding, Chen, & Black, 2014); and according to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey 47% of transgender folks reported being sexually assaulted in their lifetime (James et al., 2016). Additionally, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 10 men reported experiencing sexual coercion in their lifetime (Smith et al., 2018). These numbers, while staggering, are likely under representative of the number of people surviving sexual violence due to fear, shame, and stigmatization. It is also vital that we recognize that a huge proportion of these assaults are perpetrated by people who were known to the survivor. While sexual violence absolutely is perpetrated by strangers, more often than not partners, friends, family, and acquaintances enact sexual violence (Department of Justice, 2000). Sexual assault is NEVER the fault of the survivor.

So why should we talk about consent? From the numbers above, it seems quite clear that as a population, as a society, we are not getting it. Sexual consent at its core is about openly respecting the boundaries and autonomy of other human being(s) by coming to a mutual agreement of what sex and intimacy will be like. Everyone deserves agency over their own consent decisions. Let’s break down what is and is NOT consensual.

Consent: Is a“yes!” given enthusiastically, is given freely, is reciprocal, is used for all things of a sexual nature (oral sex does not require less consent than vaginal or anal sex, hugs, touches and kisses, exposing oneself, etc. ALL still require consent), can be given for some things and not others, can be given on some occasions and not others (even if you’ve had sex with someone before, even if you’re in a serious relationship with, or married to, someone), can be retracted at any time (even if you’re in the middle of sex), is given with words (“yes!”) and is likely reinforced by positive and engaged body language, tone, and levels of comfort.

Identifying consent requires: Communication (before, during, and after), listening, observation, and the responsibility of putting someone else’s needs before your own in cases where your partner(s) are not interested even if you are.

It’s also important that we recognize how we feel when we’re in romantic, intimate, and sexual encounters. Respecting the needs and wants of others is vital, but so is respecting yourself. As you communicate with partner(s) to understand their boundaries and comfort, assessing your own boundaries, comfort, expectations, and desire should also be prioritized. Do you feel confident about giving consent and participating in this relationship? If that answer is no, that is valid and important and should be heard. Agreeing to have sex purely because you feel the need to please or satisfy a partner is not actually consent, and it’s important that each of us know (and teach our peers) that we are not under any obligation to have sex because someone else needs us to.

Consent is NOT: coerced, convinced, threatened, leveraged, mandatory or obligatory, only obtained once, expected from all romantic/intimate/sexual encounters (even from someone you’ve had sex with before, even from a partner or spouse), applicable to all sexual acts, a reason “to try harder.” Consent is not simply the absence of “no.” If at any point someone asks if what they’re doing is okay and it is not answered with an resounding, “yes,” than it is not consensual.

Consent CANNOT be given or obtained: When someone is under the influence of drugs or alcohol; when someone is incapacitated or asleep; when there is a power dynamic like a teacher and student, boss and employee, or a coach and a player; by the clothing someone is wearing, based on “flirtatious” behavior or being “a tease;” by a child or someone who is under the age of consent (see laws below).

If consent is coerced in any way, if consent is assumed when consent cannot be given, or if consent is not given and sexual behavior is forced, this is not sex. This is rape.

 These two short videos explain consent in an easily digested way, showing how ludicrous we would find doing other things without obtaining consent or permission first. Watch these videos here and consider, why is consent so much harder with sex?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8&t

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laMtr-rUEmY

Consent Laws: Consent laws are different in every state, which can be problematic. Often, consent laws address the age at which a child/adolescent is able to give consent (1) to someone of a similar age and (2) to someone of a much different age. Consent laws also identify that intoxication or being under the influence of other substances is not a time when someone can consent because their decision-making skills are impaired, and in some instances, they may be completely unable to make decisions. Other consent laws, sometimes found within organizations, describe the unacceptability of a sexual relationship within a power dynamic, citing that consent cannot be freely given or obtained because the innate nature of the relationship is already unequal and the partner with less power (an employee, student, team player) may feel disadvantaged or be fearful of repercussions by not engaging in the relationship. Search for your state’s consent laws online and consider looking at Iowa’s Age of Consent laws here.

Why do we struggle so much with consent when it comes to intimacy and sex, when clearly, we don’t have some of the same issues in other parts of our life? Often our social and cultural values encourage caring for others before caring for one’s self. Additionally, patriarchal and misogynistic values perpetuate heteronormative and dominate ideas that men are receivers of sex and pleasure while women are givers of sex and pleasure. These persisting ideas permeate our societal practices down to what we teach our youngest members. How do we talk about consent with kids? Do we really do it that much? Have you ever seen a parent tell their three-year-old to keep their hands to themselves when they hit someone, but when their five-year-old persistently tries to hug a classmate who is not having it, it’s just cute and kids being kids?

These are hugely mixed messages to children during an enormously developmental time period. Teaching kids (from an early age) about respecting the autonomy of others, setting their own boundaries, and demanding the same respect sounds like a great thing. In their TEDx Talk, “Body Sovereignty and Kids: How we can cultivate a culture of consent,” Monica Rivera examines how and when we learn to practice consent and how it applies to much more than sex alone. Watch their talk here

Consent is a huge topic which involves important, evolving, and every necessary conversation. Please consider viewing more videos listed under Want to Know More? below.

Fluidity of Sexual Attraction and Behavior

Earlier, this book examined Family-of-Origin and described the continuum of gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation. Here we will further contemplate sexual orientation, the fluidity of attraction (Sexual Fluidity, n.d.), and sexual behavior throughout one’s lifetime. In the mid to late 1940s Kinsey, Pomeroy, and Martin developed the “Kinsey Scale,” which they used to demonstrate that heterosexuality and homosexuality were not the only options for categorizing sexual attraction and behavior (Kinsey et al., 1948). It is important to note that Albert Kinsey (for which the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is named, a premier research institute of human sexuality and relationships) is lauded as a “pioneer” of sexuality research (Brown & Fee, 2003); he and his research team illuminated a great deal of insight about homosexuality, masturbation, female pleasure and beyond. However, he has come under scrutiny. Some criticism is rooted in sexually conservative and traditional viewpoints, while other critics question the ethics of his methods and validity of his sampling (Spector, 2013). Learn more about the Kinsey Institute under Want to Know More?.  Since 1948 more inclusive scales and richer research have been developed to exhibit the diversity of sexual orientation, attraction, and behavior, but the important take away is that sexuality is fluid over the life course and the sexual behavior someone actually engages in does not always align with how they identify their sexual orientation (Sexual Fluidity, n.d.).

A Brief Case Study:

 Strider is a 22-year-old cisgender Latino man who identifies as ‘straight.’  Growing up in middle America, in a socially traditional Latino household, Strider played on a number of sports teams and even earned a co-sponsored academic/athletic scholarship to a local state university—an honor that demonstrated his dedication to his sport and his learning. Throughout Strider’s late adolescence and early adulthood, he had two girlfriends, one (Sophie) was a brief fling where sexual chemistry was electric. The other (Eunice) has turned into a long-lasting relationship of almost 3 years, which has been both sexually and emotionally gratifying. Recently, two months into their senior year of university Eunice told Strider that she needed to take a break from the relationship. Strider is heartbroken, but not necessarily surprised. He had felt Eunice distancing herself since the start of the new semester. During this stressful time Strider turned his focus to schoolwork and soccer, and before long he was starting to feel more normal again.  

 Soccer was a part Strider’s life that energized and fulfilled him. Throughout his youth and now in college Strider found that many of his most trusted and uplifting relationships have been with his teammates and soccer mentors. These friends have been there for Strider no matter what and often make him feel most like he belongs. After a few weeks of intense soccer practices and workouts with one of his favorite teammates Austen, the two decide to grab a bite to eat and hang out– where they get caught up in discussion for hours about life after college. Strider and Austen are lost in exciting conversation and before Strider knows it, he’s feeling the pleasure of this emotionally supportive relationship shifting into arousal that he has never experienced before, and it seems like Austen is feeling that way too. The two young men start enthusiastically embracing and they make-out for a while before taking their sexual encounter further.

 Afterwards the two guys sat in Austen’s living room semi dumbfounded as to what just happened, but not uncomfortable. Austen says to Strider, “Man, I guess I didn’t realize you were gay.” Strider’s head whips to look at Austen, “What? I’m not gay,” he replies. Austen countered, “Oh.. I mean, does that mean you’re bisexual or, or bi-… something?” Strider sits in silence and thinks for a few minutes, “I guess I don’t know, I don’t think I’m bi, I’ve always liked girls and I really love Eunice, but I never thought I would also really liked that…” Austen shrugged as he grabbed his socks off the ground to put them on, “Whatever you say. It’s cool with me that it happened, I liked it too, whatever it was. As long as you’re good staying friends, I don’t think it needs to change how we hang out.” Strider nodded vigorously, relieved that the aftermath would not be abysmal. As Strider left to go home, the guys said goodbye as they usually would and Strider rode his bike back to his place feeling good, but kind of weird, and wondering, ‘Does this mean I’m not straight? I didn’t think so….’

 A few weeks later, things felt as normal as they could. Austen and Strider had a few awkward days around each other at practice, but soon both seemed to relax about the idea that they could maintain their friendship. However, Strider was still full of so many questions about himself. Not knowing who else to turn to, he called his older sister Laura, who was studying psychology and anthropology at a graduate school out west. It took courage to start the story, but after 20 minutes of trying to explain that he had been intimate with his friend who was a man, but that he was so sure he was straight, he stopped talking and waited for her response. Laura chuckled a bit, but almost immediately soothed him. “Hermanito, it’s okay! Human sexuality can look a lot of different ways. You’ve described how you have authentically lusted for and loved women.. and as your older sister I have watched you have crushes on girls all throughout your young life. Let me ask you, have you ever felt like this about a man before?” Strider didn’t have to think long before saying, “Well no, I don’t think so.” “And so,” Laura continued, “What did Austen make you feel in that moment?” Strider thought longer about this question. “Well,” he responded, “I guess I felt really excited and supported, and I felt like I could talk about my life and my dreams for … I think that it was a surge of emotional attraction that I hadn’t had in a long while.” After a pause Laura finally responded, “Strider, maybe this was a one-time thing, maybe it’s not and as you keep learning about yourself and growing, you’ll realize that you are attracted to men sometimes, or maybe attraction is more about the specific person for you. No matter what, you select the language and the terms that best describe who you are. If that’s ‘straight’, then that’s valid, and if that shifts to grow with you that’s valid too.”  

 Strider and Laura said their goodbyes and Strider hung up. While Strider still isn’t completely sure what that evening with Austen means to him, he has relaxed with the knowledge that sexuality is fluid, and that he is still the lone owner of his identity.

What is happening in Strider’s situation? Is his sexual orientation automatically different because he participated in sexual behaviors that were uncharacteristic for him? Is it different because he was suddenly attracted to someone that he hasn’t been attracted to before? Does someone else get to define his sexual orientation based on their perception of his lived experience? The answer to the first two questions is very potentially no, but maybe he is recognizing there is more fluidity to his attraction than he once thought. The answer to the last question is definitely not—the language that we choose to best exemplify aspects of our orientation or identity is for us alone. Published research has shown that fluidity in sexuality is not atypical in the human experience, and that sexual behavior does not always align with how people identify their orientation (Leigh, 1989; Mustanski et al., 2014; Peplau & Garnets, 2002; Schwarzbaum & Thomas, 2008). Surveys like the National Survey of Family Growth (out of the National Center for Health Statistics and housed within the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), while imperfect, work to report associations between self-reported orientation, attraction, and behavior. These results also display the difference between orientation and behavior, particularly across the life course (Copen, Chandra, & Febo-Vazquez, 2016).

In combination, the early work of sexuality scholars like Kinsey and ongoing work of sexuality advocates and social scientists continue to describe the nuanced and exciting nature of human sexuality—in all of its twisting and turning glory.

Technology

Technology has entered into our lives in almost every way these days, and relationships and sex are no exception. As with more mundane forms of digital media—Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Pinterest, GrubHub, Uber, etc.—each provides us with a service, each is a means to an end, and each brings new convenience to our lives in order to accomplish something that was previously ‘unattainable’.  With each of these mediums there are very real benefits or gains, however there are disadvantages and losses too. Dating apps and pornography are no different. The evolution of online dating and pornography are two examples of technological impact on relationships and intimacy. In closing, this chapter will consider the advantages and disadvantages of dating apps and porn from the perspective of intimacy and sexual expectations.

Dating Apps

Online dating has grown into the industry we know today in only a few years (Fetters, 2020).  How wild. Really, think about it… as a society we have technology which uses advanced coding and algorithms to identify desirable features in a potential mate who may be within our geographical purview, but completely outside of our social network and, therefore, previously out of reach. The appeal of dating apps is not lost on the masses; suddenly dating is not only about who you know, it’s potentially about who you really are. For thousands of people each year, this maturing technology does its job to showcase appealing attributes of singles across the world, and to identify appropriate and successful matches among other benefits (Ferdman, 2016; Fetters, 2020). There are major wins in dating apps! To act like there aren’t is to ignore a huge part of the relationship revolution. If tasked to evaluate your contacts, how many couples do you know who were joined by dating apps? Probably at least one. What about healthy couples?

What is the flip side of the dating app story? What happens when swiping becomes so monotonous that the human beings behind the profiles disappear? Dating apps have also become a space where surface level judgement, stunted compassion, and hook-up culture thrive (Fetters, 2020; Hay, 2019). It seems that a more useful conversation topic with dating apps would be, knowledge [of the app effect] is power. Recognizing that dating apps may shift our perspective on intimacy, push media or trending cultural norms, push app financial priorities, dull our compassion for others, and just might not be getting us what we originally thought we wanted, all require intrapersonal dialog and self-awareness (Hay, 2019). Research into the larger impact that dating apps have on our sex lives and intimacy are still forthcoming, as these technologies have really only been available for a decade—but even so, there are already signs of influence on our relationships and our wellbeing (Hay, 2019).

Porn

 Anecdotally, pornography is one of the most polarizing industries/’consumable products’ that exists in the United States and beyond; this is in part because porn (overwhelmingly) can be problematic. The average age that a child in the United States first sees porn is around age nine, with some stumbling onto porn via some other innocent and confused searches (O.A., 2012). Clearly porn is not for kids, though we’ll need to take greater action to make sure of that (wait and see below). Additionally, the porn industry itself is riddled with human rights violations. While it’s not guaranteed that every porn performer was coerced into the field through human sex trafficking, child pornography, or as a last resort, all of these very real issues are embedded within porn. This will not be the focus of this chapter, but it should be noted that porn is not a conflict-free industry, and it will take a great deal of dedicated action to address the abhorrent violations which do exist.

Instead, for the purpose of studying relationships, we focus on what porn may do to our expectations of sex, our bodies, and intimacy. One of the more dedicated, yet neutral, voices currently talking about porn and health is Emily F. Rothman. As a public health researcher dedicated to intimate partner and sexual violence prevention, Rothman has a stake in figuring out if violent porn contributes to violent behavior by consumers of porn. However, Rothman also recognizes that porn isn’t definitively evil. Instead, she poses the possibility that we teach young people how to be critical consumers of pornography so that they can discern what aspects are harmful, including how violence and aggression witnessed in porn are likely not part of a majority of healthy relationships. Watch her TEDMed Talk here to understand more about her perspective 

Like Rothman, Cindy Pierce addresses how young people are, unfortunately, using porn as a lesson in sex education, and how this is skewing their expectations of sex. These skewed expectations include what sex is supposed to be like, intimacy in sex, and how bodies appear (Borgogna, 2018; Tylka, 2015). In their TEDx Talk, Pierce (with humor) describes how porn prepares young people to feel inadequate as their bodies, and the response their sexual skills elicit, are vastly different than the performances they view. Again, it’s posed that adults play important roles in the future sex lives and the perspective of intimacy that young people develop. By actively engaging with them and talking about sexual health and porn, adults can make a differences. Watch Pierce’s talk here

Porn is not an easy topic, and until adults who already have predetermined ideas about porn shift their attitudes enough to teach the next generation about porn in a useful way, it’s likely that a cycle of indiscriminate consumption will continue. Whether someone is for or against porn seems to dilute the conversation too much. There is a group who believe that consensually made and consensually consumed porn by adults is a fine and helpful tool that is at our fingertips now more than ever (consider reading the Guardian piece on whether there is ethical porn). Alternatively, there are advocates who work to completely denounce porn because of its detrimental impact on health, helping people of all ages “quit porn” (not all of these advocates come from the traditional religious backgrounds that we might stereotype them in to; Ahlin, 2019). As the body of literature grows, it is clear that porn is here for the long haul, and it will be up to us as a society to speak up about the ethics of the industry, and to teach ourselves and others how to be critical consumers—for the sake of our relationships with ourselves and others.

Points to Ponder:

1. What are my own personal sexual boundaries? Do I feel like I can articulate those to a sexual partner?
2. Why do I think communication is so much harder around sex?
3. What could change if consent laws were the same across the U.S.?
4. Where and when should we start learning about consent?
   1. Why is learning about consent important in these contexts?
5. If you could teach someone about consent in three sentences, what would you teach them?
6. Do you think your school does an appropriate job educating about consent?
7. What biases do I have about sexual orientation, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior?
   1. What questions do I still have around this subject, and what might help me understand more?
8. Do I have positive examples of dating app use in my life? Do I have challenging or problematic examples?
   1. How are relationships born from dating apps perceived amongst my peers and me?
   2. What kinds of conversations do I think would be helpful to have about dating apps and healthy relationships?
9. Reflect on if/how porn has intersected with your life.
   1. When? Was this at an appropriate time?
   2. What are examples of more helpful or positive impacts that interacting with pornography might provide for someone?
   3. What are examples of more harmful impacts that interacting with porn might have on someone?
   4. Can there be ethical porn?

Want to know more?

Browse the reference sections below—there are really interesting literature and current articles which can only be described in limited detail throughout the chapter. Pop culture content about dating apps in particular are of relevance to the evolving mindset around apps and intimacy.

Albury, K., Burgess, J., Light, B., Race, K., & Wilken, R. (2017). Data cultures of mobile dating and hook-up apps: Emerging issues for critical social science research. Big Data & Society. https://doi.org/10.1177/2053951717720950

Borgogna, N.C., McDermott, R.C., Browning, B.R. et al. (2019). How Does Traditional Masculinity Relate to Men and Women’s Problematic Pornography Viewing?. Sex Roles 80, 693–706. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-018-0967-8

Chan, L. S. (2018). Ambivalence in networked intimacy: Observations from gay men using mobile dating apps. New Media & Society, 20(7), 2566–2581. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444817727156

Hobbs, M., Owen, S., & Gerber, L. (2017). Liquid love? Dating apps, sex, relationships and the digital transformation of intimacy. Journal of Sociology, 53(2), 271–284. https://doi.org/10.1177/1440783316662718

Stewart, D.N., Szymanski, D.M. (2012). Young Adult Women’s Reports of Their Male Romantic Partner’s Pornography Use as a Correlate of Their Self-Esteem, Relationship Quality, and Sexual Satisfaction. Sex Roles 67, 257–271. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-012-0164-0

Twohig, M.P., Crosby, J.M., & Cox, J.M. (2009) Viewing Internet Pornography: For Whom is it Problematic, How, and Why?, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 16:4, 253-266, DOI: 10.1080/10720160903300788

Williams, Z. (2014, November 1). Is there such a thing as ethical porn? Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/nov/01/ethical-porn-fair-trade-sex

TEDx Talks and Other Videos

 Israel, T. [TEDx Talks]. (2019, October 14). The new rules for consent in the post- #MeToo era [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7850BmblU

Activity:

Watch Al Vernacchio explain why pizza is a great metaphor for consent and sex, and how it compares to harmful societal metaphors that we already have and why they’re problematic for healthy sexual development Watch here https://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_sex_needs_a_new_metaphor_here_s_one/discussion?language=en#t-485199

Consent Pizza

• Break out into pairs
• Ask each group to decide what kind of pizza they’re going to order tonight for dinner, each pair only gets to order one pizza
• Groups should come to an agreement about…
  • o Do both people want to eat pizza tonight?
  • o What time do they want pizza?
  • o What kind of crust?
  • o What kind of toppings?
  • o What kind of sauce?
  • o All one kind? Split multiple ways?
• 3-5 minutes to decide what kind of pizza, write down your final order
• Come back together as a large group and ask pairs to share their pizza creation process
  • o Are you actually interested in ordering pizza together?
  • o What felt good about this decision-making?
  • o What felt challenging about this decision-making?
  • o Did you discuss whether the expectation was that you’d have leftover pizza to share another day?
  • o Would you order pizza with this person again some time?

References:

Borgogna, N.C., Lathan, E.C., & Mitchell, A. (2018) Is Women’s Problematic Pornography Viewing Related to Body Image or Relationship Satisfaction?, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 25:4, 345-366, DOI: 10.1080/10720162.2018.1532360

Breiding, M.J., Chen J., & Black, M.C. (2014). Intimate Partner Violence in the United States — 2010. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Brown, T. M., & Fee, E. (2003). Alfred C. Kinsey: a pioneer of sex research. American journal of public health, 93(6), 896–897. https://doi.org/10.2105/ajph.93.6.896

Copen, C.E., Chandra, A., Febo-Vazquez, I. (2016) Sexual behavior, sexual attraction, and sexual orientation among adults aged 18–44 in the United States: Data from the 2011–2013 National Survey of Family Growth. National health statistics reports; no 88. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.

Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics. (2000). Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement.

Feldman, R. (2016, March 23). How well online dating works, according to someone who has been studying it for years. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/23/the-truth-about-online-dating-according-to-someone-who-has-been-studying-it-for-years/

Fetters, S. by A. (2020, March 3). The Five Years That Changed Dating. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/12/tinder-changed-dating/578698/

Hay, M. (2019, August 21). Apps are definitely changing our sexual behavior, we’re just not sure how. Retrieved from https://theoutline.com/post/7824/dating-apps-research-behavior-sex?zd=1&zi=2bpsj7wp

Hobbs, M., Owen, S., & Gerber, L. (2017). Liquid love? Dating apps, sex, relationships and the digital transformation of intimacy. Journal of Sociology, 53(2), 271–284. https://doi.org/10.1177/1440783316662718

Iowa Age of Consent Laws 2020. (2020). Retrieved April 2020, from https://www.ageofconsent.net/states/iowa

James, S. E., Herman, J. L., Rankin, S., Keisling, M., Mottet, L., & Anafi, M. (2016). The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. Washington, DC: National Center for Transgender Equality.

Kinsey, Alfred C. et al. (1948/1998). Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders; Bloomington: Indiana U. Press. [First publication of Kinsey’s Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale. Discusses Kinsey Scale, pp. 636–659.]

Leigh, B. C. (1989). Reasons for having and avoiding sex: Gender, sexual orientation, and relationship to sexual behavior. Journal of Sex Research, 26(2), 199–209. doi: 10.1080/00224498909551506

Mustanski, B., Birkett, M., Greene, G. J., Rosario, M., Bostwick, W., & Everett, B. G. (2014). The association between sexual orientation identity and behavior across race/ethnicity, sex, and age in a probability sample of high school students. American journal of public health, 104(2), 237–244. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2013.301451

Peplau, L. A., & Garnets, L. D. (2000). A New Paradigm for Understanding Womens Sexuality and Sexual Orientation. Journal of Social Issues, 56(2), 330–350. doi: 10.1111/0022-4537.00169

Schwarzbaum, S. E. & Thomas, A. J. (2008). Dimensions of sexual orientation. In Dimensions of multicultural counseling: A life story approach (pp. 337-350). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. doi:

Smith, S.G., Zhang, X., Basile, K.C., Merrick, M.T., Wang, J., Kresnow, M., Chen, J. (2018). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 Data Brief – Updated Release. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Spector, D. (2013, October 18). Why Kinsey’s Research Remains Even More Controversial Than The ‘Masters Of Sex’   . Retrieved April 2020, from https://www.businessinsider.com/why-alfred-kinsey-was-controversial-2013-10

Tylka, T. L. (2015). No harm in looking, right? Men’s pornography consumption, body image, and well-being. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 16(1), 97–107. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035774

Video and Image References:

Ahlin, M. [TEDx Talks]. (2019, June). Let’s Talk Porn [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBTb71UzPmY

CampusClarity. (2014, July 24). 2 minutes will change the way you think about consent [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laMtr-rUEmY

Kinsey, Alfred C. et al. (1948/1998). Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders; Bloomington: Indiana U. Press. [First publication of Kinsey’s Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale. Discusses Kinsey Scale, pp. 636–659.]

Marvin, R. (2019, March 25). Mapping State-by-State Tech Trends: Most Popular Dating Apps. Retrieved from https://www.pcmag.com/news/mapping-state-by-state-tech-trends-most-popular-dating-apps

May, E. [Blue Seat Studios]. (2015, May 12). Tea consent [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8&t=30s

New York University [hastagNYU]. (2014, September 30). Let’s talk about consent [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBFCeGDVAdQ

Pierce, C. [TEDx Talks]. (2019, April). How porn skews sexual expectations [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=667zDL79xEI

Rivera, M. [TEDx Talks]. (2016, March 14). Body Sovereignty and Kids: How we can cultivate a culture of consent [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvGyo1NrzTY

Rothman, E.F.[TEDMED]. (2018, November). How porn changes the way teens think about sex [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhP0AfZdRZ4

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