Why Do Pronouns Matter?

Imagine that you are called the wrong pronoun or the wrong honorific—Mr., Ms., or Mrs.—multiple times a day. It might happen in person, over the phone, or behind a screen. Each time it happens, do you decide to let it go or correct them? What would you do? The act of calling a person by incorrect pronouns or honorifics is misgendering. Misgendering students invalidates their identity and their personhood. LGBTQ+ youth experience higher rates of mental health challenges compared to their cisgender, straight peers through violence, bullying, discrimination, and misgendering (Pronouns). While many people use the pronoun associated with their sex assigned at birth, gendered pronouns, and the assumptions behind them may represent a daily stressor for LGBTQ youth, especially within the school (Pronouns). Students deserve to be respected in a learning environment and entitled to a learning environment that is not disruptive by any means that harms their ability to succeed (UIOWA). Affirming LGBTQ youth by using pronouns that align with their gender identity has been shown to improve mental health outcomes and can positively impact their mental health and their ability to hold space within the classroom—and in the world (Pronouns).

Many instructors acknowledge students’ diverse gender identities, and there are simple strategies to ensure that our teaching practices are as inclusive as possible. Some people—particularly those who identify as cisgender—may overlook binary and exclusive phrases such as “guys and gals.”  However, such terms are exclusive and demeaning to transgender and non-binary individuals. Furthermore, understanding the notion of gender as a social construct is a binary perspective that assumes that only men and women exist, obscuring gender diversity and erasing the existence of people who do not identify as men or women. Some people assigned male at birth identify as women, some people assigned female identify as men, and some people identify as neither women nor men. This illustrates the difference between gender assignment, which doctors place on infants (and fetuses) based on the appearance of the genitalia, and gender identity, which one discerns oneself. The existence of transgender people, or individuals who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, challenges the very idea of a single-sex/gender identity (Kang).

Names and pronouns are common ways to communicate one’s gender. Honoring a person’s name and pronouns shows respect and acknowledgment of their gender and identity (Guide). Since facing potentially prejudiced people can be intimidating, some students may choose to stay silent about their identities. We cannot assume someone’s pronouns or gender identity just in the same way we cannot assume someone’s name. It’s good practice to provide the opportunity for folks to share their pronouns. You can do that by asking or introducing your own pronouns when you meet a person. This gives them the opportunity to share their own if they so choose (Guide). This responsibility belongs to us, not to them. As we take on that responsibility, it’s important to know that everyone will slip up from time to time. We live in a world that pressures us to think, talk, and act in accordance with the binary options of what is male and female. It is also important to know how painful it is for someone to be misgendered, and it is the job of cisgender people to figure out how to resist societal pressure and avoid these mistakes.

Further Reading

• From “The Human Rights Campaign Organization”: Why We Ask Each Other Our Pronouns
• From “The Trevor Project”: Understanding Gender Identities
• From Vanderbilt University: Teaching Beyond the Gender Binary in the Classroom